♥ O testemunho de um pai que ama os seus filhos

May 23, 2008 at 5:43 pm

I’m a dad — 2 kids, older teenagers – lovely kids, no complaints. Couldn’t ask for better kids But I regret having them and how it changed (destroyed) our life and marriage.
Having kids absolutely can ruin a marriage. And I disagree with a previous post in here (and others) that this happens because the couple didn’t know why they wanted kids, or didn’t really want them.
No. It happens because young parents don’t realize how pervasive, life-changing, and RELENTLESS an effect children will have on your life. We are fed these lines of bull from our parents, and child-rearing books, and from society in general, that it will be only “temporary”, that we will rearrange our lives and find ways to keep the “spontanaeity” there – “you just have to work at it.” That the reward of watching your children grow will be worth all the time you miss out on with each other.
These are the same idiots who describe giving birth as “a little uncomfortable” (no joke, that’s the term our childbirth instructors always used).
That’s how it happens, man. It looks like it will be nothing but joy and satisfaction to raise a darling child with the woman you love. Then you wake up 20 years later, look back on all the quiet, soulful, intimate time you have lost with your wife, and realize that you basically traded a passionate, care-free, loving relationship with a woman for 20 years of stress, work, and loneliness.
If just one man reads this, decides not to have children, and 20 years from now wakes up in the morning with his wife in his arms and thinks how lucky he is and how glad he is that they have dedicated their lives to each other, then my posting all this will have been well worth it.


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♥ Matilda | matilda.writing@gmail.com